To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

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Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift. 

Where is the love?!

So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!

This topic came to mind after a few discussions with friends. So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!
So here is what you have to do, set a dinner time and maintain it. Spend more time with your family and less time in front of the television or tablet or phone…. get of social  networking and focus on some personal networking. Talk about your day with your spouse and use this time to vent all that you are stressed about. And make it happen. When you disconnect from the world you will focus on what is in front of you.

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We may have too much weighing us down, we have to learn to put down your load and just focus on your spouse. Appreciate what he or she does everyday,  wake up everyday and choose to love your spouse; remember why you fell in love… hold on to the dream of growing old together.  Sometimes it can put life into a whole different perspective and  it will definitely change how you feel.
Don’t get lost in the bond that binds your love, instead loose your self in the love that binds you.

Stand by me

Any relationship that is based on love is not (should not) be conditional! You do not necessarily have to approve of your partners actions or opinions; but if it means something to him or her, it is necessary to show support.

When I was talking about being married with my mother… I remember her telling me… ‘No matter what, you must stand by your husband’… I agreed with her then and still do; I am proud to stand beside my husband. What is even better is that my husband stands by me! – Some women think that I am privileged… some of them are not confident that their husbands/ boyfriends will stand by them no matter what.

Any relationship that is based on love is not (should not) be conditional! You do not necessarily have to approve of your partners actions or opinions; but if it means something to him or her, it is necessary to show support.

There are some who support their friends over their significant other… why? Is it an attempt to fit in??! Or is it the confidence that he or she will put up with their nonsense that stops them from caring for a little while! Either which way it is selfish! Then we have those who do not support their spouses with regard to family; i.e., parents and siblings…

We should be each other’s strength, we should balance each other out, we should care enough to listen, whatever our actions, it must be out of love and affection. I am not saying that relationships are rosy… I am saying that we have to work it out not be throwing the other against a wall but by compromise and understanding. Trust the one you love, love the one you trust. You cannot go wrong!