Respecting the emotions of our children

Have you ever had a day where you just wanted to laze in bed when you know that you needed to bet to office…. sometimes, we give in snooze the alarm for a bit more than usual… we land up going in late…  do you get a little laid back on a Friday??? We all have those days!! Today… my little one had one of those days… I felt an ache as I saw that look in her eyes as she was being yelled at to hurry up.
We all love to have an open relationship with our children, we would like them to come to us with anything and everything.. we want them to see us as friends as they grow. I believe, respecting their feelings is something that will help nurture that special relationship. We grown ups use the parent card… or the ‘because I said so’ when we want our little ones to fit into our schedule.

We should encourage our children to share there feelings with us; more importantly we should teach ourselves to listen and pick up on their feelings and respect them. Remember that these little people may not understand their emotions and feelings, so let them emote and let us help them understand what they are experiencing by listening to them and take the opportunity to explain that you too have feelings and its a give and take. You  might be surprised at how understanding your child will be!

There is a saying that goes ‘Respect those who deserve it not those who demand it’ our children sure do deserve it! It’s tricky parenting… but it is worth giving it a short. You will discover a side to them that you may not have known…they may too. I think its a step towards raising confident children.

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To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift. 

​From one mother to another: Getting by the sick days..

I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.
Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept!

When ever your child has fallen ill, have you noticed that uncomfortable silence that fills an otherwise noisy home?!! I have!! It makes me so uncomfortable! It keeps me spinning around the house keeping myself busy. I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.

Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept! Until that acceptance happens, it is common for parents to wonder why your child has to go through something like this.. I have read, researched and even wondered if I did anything wrong! All natural responses! 

What we need to keep in mind while we are sorting ourselves out, is to see that we don’t make our little one uncomfortable with our display of emotions and actions.. what I mean is – do not suddenly become over protective and smother the child from being him or her self. Instead we should teach them to cope with the illness, educate them along the way. Take a minute to take a deep breath when you know that you need it. 
We need to talk to our partners and discuss with each other on what goes, so that both are on the same page at all times. Lastly.. everyone has advice to give.. hear them out.. take what you need from it… do what ‘you’ have to do for your child… he is your son, she is your daughter.. listen to your gut.. let your motherly instinct guide you.

Stay strong, stay healthy, our children need us to be!

 Believe that this too shall pass! 

The whims and fancies of childhood

How ever we must remember that it is passing phase, be It the terrible twos and threes or the teenage years. With all the daily pressures that we take on, be it at home and/ or at office it can be draining to have a child throw a fit!
Keep calm, however angry you may be or embarrassed that you may feel, reacting in harsh tones or giving into the thrown tantrum isn’t the best solution in the long lo g run

Most children are often very well behaved when they are with company…there are some children  who throw a fit leaving their parents embarrassed and angry… The dreadful ‘Tantrum’; it is definitely  not easy dealing with the tantrums of children.
How ever we must remember that it is  passing phase, be It the terrible twos and threes or the teenage years. With all the daily pressures that we take on, be it at home and/ or at office it can be draining to have a child throw  a fit!
Keep calm, however angry you may be or embarrassed that you may feel, reacting in harsh tones or giving into the thrown tantrum isn’t the best solution in the long lo g run. Let the child play it out he or she has to stop at some point, when children realise that their tantrums don’t effect you, they will ultimately stop doing it. The key here is to find and show them ways of channelling those emotions that they are going through.
I know that it is not easy and this method takes time and energy but if you really think about it, it makes sense.. we are teaching our children  healthy ways to express their feelings and not shutting them up or giving  into their tantrums just to shut them up. Truth be told I sometimes just give in, but the key is consistency and I try not to let my headaches get the  ahead of me!

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What a parent must not neglect is a child’s tantrum to get your attention,  this usually happens with the working parent or parents. My word to them would be chalk out a routine that your  child can look forward to doing with you;  be it bath time, a special game or story time and don’t forget the surprise ice cream now and then.
🙂

Sibling love

Its lovely to watch the older sibling look after the younger one, I Iove how protective the older ones get and how the younger ones looks to the older one for all kinds of support. Be it any age gap, the bond between siblings is comforting to watch as they grow.

Its lovely to watch the older sibling look after the younger one, I Iove how protective the older ones get and how the younger ones looks to the older one for all kinds of support.  Be it any age gap, the bond between siblings is comforting to watch as they grow.
My childhood was a lot of fun with a younger brother, we laughed and played a d always had each others back and yea the teenage years were not always pleasant but today as adults we are the best of friends.
It is so important to help nuture the bond between siblings. As parents we have to encourage our children  to love each other unconditionally and teach them that they need to support each other’s strengths and weaknesses from a young age. The importance of celebrating a victory and sharing the sadness in losses can start at a tender age and its wonderful to watch them comfort each other or high five each other.
Of  course they will fight and argue! But that is healthy.. it is normal! That also strengthens that bond on some level.. we should not compare our children that could promote feelings of inadequacy in  them as a child and cause envy towards the other sibling.
Always remember that children know our tones even better than we do. They can read our faces without us having to say anything, so be positive and encouraging at all times and they will grow up reflecting the same mentality. Everything starts at home and eliminates outside.
Here’s to Sibling bonds!!

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Sibling love