To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

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Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift. 

​From one mother to another: Getting by the sick days..

I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating. Knowing that your child has to live…

Source: From one mother to another: Getting by the sick days..

​From one mother to another: Getting by the sick days..

I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.
Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept!

When ever your child has fallen ill, have you noticed that uncomfortable silence that fills an otherwise noisy home?!! I have!! It makes me so uncomfortable! It keeps me spinning around the house keeping myself busy. I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.

Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept! Until that acceptance happens, it is common for parents to wonder why your child has to go through something like this.. I have read, researched and even wondered if I did anything wrong! All natural responses! 

What we need to keep in mind while we are sorting ourselves out, is to see that we don’t make our little one uncomfortable with our display of emotions and actions.. what I mean is – do not suddenly become over protective and smother the child from being him or her self. Instead we should teach them to cope with the illness, educate them along the way. Take a minute to take a deep breath when you know that you need it. 
We need to talk to our partners and discuss with each other on what goes, so that both are on the same page at all times. Lastly.. everyone has advice to give.. hear them out.. take what you need from it… do what ‘you’ have to do for your child… he is your son, she is your daughter.. listen to your gut.. let your motherly instinct guide you.

Stay strong, stay healthy, our children need us to be!

 Believe that this too shall pass! 

When your baby is not your baby anymore!

I found my self smiling on way out and then it hits me by baby girl is growing up! And suddenly, I found my self wanting to hold her, wishing I could carry her around and just not letting her go…I realised that she is more responsible.. more everything!
I think watching a child grow into an independent little being makes us want to turn back time or stop it for a while. I suppose, it is difficult to let go of them needing you.

We all love to watch our children grow! Do you remember your baby’s first smile, that first peeping tooth… remember when she first left the edge of the sofa to take a step towards you?? Aren’t they are such beautiful memories?! As parents, we are rooting for them to grow; applauding and celebrating their achievements along the way. 
My oldest, she is all of 6, of late I have been taken aback by her responses and actions. For instance, the other afternoon, I was just about done with drying my hands after doing the dishes when she walked in with a plate that she had just eaten from and starts to wash it. I told her that I will do it and she politely says “mama, don’t worry, I will wash it up, you have just dried your hands.” 

I was touched! I found my self smiling on way out and then it hits me by baby girl is growing up! And suddenly, I found my self wanting to hold her, wishing I could carry her around and just not letting her go…I realised that she is more responsible.. more everything! 

I think watching a child grow into an independent little being makes us want to turn back time or stop it for a while. I suppose, it is difficult to let go of them needing you. What really bothers me is that I know that our little ones are constantly growing and its not just a phase… their changes, physical, mental and emotional are always going to get us!

I love my girl! I know its not always going to be chocolates and rainbows. But one thing that I surely let her know every day is that she is perfect in every way even if she has driven me up the wall, I wouldn’t have it any other way, cause I know that its another memory for me to sink into on a rainy day.

So! All you mothers and fathers reading this, go and hug your children, hold them close, hold those tiny hands and bite their toes! Tickle their bellies and listen to them laugh, memorise their faces and make that a memory to last!

Where is the love?!

So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!

This topic came to mind after a few discussions with friends. So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!
So here is what you have to do, set a dinner time and maintain it. Spend more time with your family and less time in front of the television or tablet or phone…. get of social  networking and focus on some personal networking. Talk about your day with your spouse and use this time to vent all that you are stressed about. And make it happen. When you disconnect from the world you will focus on what is in front of you.

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We may have too much weighing us down, we have to learn to put down your load and just focus on your spouse. Appreciate what he or she does everyday,  wake up everyday and choose to love your spouse; remember why you fell in love… hold on to the dream of growing old together.  Sometimes it can put life into a whole different perspective and  it will definitely change how you feel.
Don’t get lost in the bond that binds your love, instead loose your self in the love that binds you.

The whims and fancies of childhood

How ever we must remember that it is passing phase, be It the terrible twos and threes or the teenage years. With all the daily pressures that we take on, be it at home and/ or at office it can be draining to have a child throw a fit!
Keep calm, however angry you may be or embarrassed that you may feel, reacting in harsh tones or giving into the thrown tantrum isn’t the best solution in the long lo g run

Most children are often very well behaved when they are with company…there are some children  who throw a fit leaving their parents embarrassed and angry… The dreadful ‘Tantrum’; it is definitely  not easy dealing with the tantrums of children.
How ever we must remember that it is  passing phase, be It the terrible twos and threes or the teenage years. With all the daily pressures that we take on, be it at home and/ or at office it can be draining to have a child throw  a fit!
Keep calm, however angry you may be or embarrassed that you may feel, reacting in harsh tones or giving into the thrown tantrum isn’t the best solution in the long lo g run. Let the child play it out he or she has to stop at some point, when children realise that their tantrums don’t effect you, they will ultimately stop doing it. The key here is to find and show them ways of channelling those emotions that they are going through.
I know that it is not easy and this method takes time and energy but if you really think about it, it makes sense.. we are teaching our children  healthy ways to express their feelings and not shutting them up or giving  into their tantrums just to shut them up. Truth be told I sometimes just give in, but the key is consistency and I try not to let my headaches get the  ahead of me!

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What a parent must not neglect is a child’s tantrum to get your attention,  this usually happens with the working parent or parents. My word to them would be chalk out a routine that your  child can look forward to doing with you;  be it bath time, a special game or story time and don’t forget the surprise ice cream now and then.
🙂