Until one day

Until one day,

He woke up never to feel any pain

The sun seemed to shine a little brighter

The air smelled fresh.

Until one day,

He no longer missed her smile

Did not long for her touch

Did not hear her voice in her head.

Until one day,

He decided to walk away

From the clutches of toxic waste and

Bow out with his dignity in tact.

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Sharing is caring!

There is a tag on my dress which reads ‘can be washed by men and women’ … it cracked me up! It was followed with ‘share the load.’ Well, I know that some of you are rolling your eyes already.

Do you wish that you could get more of a helping hand from your partner or spouse?…. well…do you think giving the kids a bath once in a month or cooking an occasional meal is sharing the load?

How often do you or your significant other help with the morning routine or let the get some extra sleep? Do you do the laundry together…or at least help?? Does he or she know how to work the washing machine?!

Well..the general defence to not helping in the home is that working has left us exhausted…or just tired…well there are chores at home that need to be done too… chores dont end when you work into your home….there are the dishes, the cooking, the cleaning…you get my drift…it would be so much easier to work together…or divide and conquer…but share the load!

If your partner/ spouse can juggle a job and play house, I think that you can share some part of the load. Don’t think that your part time working/ home maker partner or spouse has it easy; oh and dont think that stay at home mom’s have it easy either..! As a matter of fact it can be more stressful to constantly be doing something at home than going out to work. We all have multiple roles and responsibilities and we can all use a helping hand!

Where do you start?? If you are a sloppy person, start by picking up after your self, if you think the other has it all covered spend a day doing what the other does for the home and decide where you can chip in. There is always something you can do!

Share the load!

If you want to do something occasionally go out to dinner, buy a gift, buy tickets for a movie, go dancing! Share the load every day. If you wanted someone to do everything for you…hire a maid! Remember that you are living your life with the person you love.

Respecting the emotions of our children

Have you ever had a day where you just wanted to laze in bed when you know that you needed to bet to office…. sometimes, we give in snooze the alarm for a bit more than usual… we land up going in late…  do you get a little laid back on a Friday??? We all have those days!! Today… my little one had one of those days… I felt an ache as I saw that look in her eyes as she was being yelled at to hurry up.
We all love to have an open relationship with our children, we would like them to come to us with anything and everything.. we want them to see us as friends as they grow. I believe, respecting their feelings is something that will help nurture that special relationship. We grown ups use the parent card… or the ‘because I said so’ when we want our little ones to fit into our schedule.

We should encourage our children to share there feelings with us; more importantly we should teach ourselves to listen and pick up on their feelings and respect them. Remember that these little people may not understand their emotions and feelings, so let them emote and let us help them understand what they are experiencing by listening to them and take the opportunity to explain that you too have feelings and its a give and take. You  might be surprised at how understanding your child will be!

There is a saying that goes ‘Respect those who deserve it not those who demand it’ our children sure do deserve it! It’s tricky parenting… but it is worth giving it a short. You will discover a side to them that you may not have known…they may too. I think its a step towards raising confident children.

To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift. 

​From one mother to another: Getting by the sick days..

I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.
Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept!

When ever your child has fallen ill, have you noticed that uncomfortable silence that fills an otherwise noisy home?!! I have!! It makes me so uncomfortable! It keeps me spinning around the house keeping myself busy. I think that watching a child battle sickness is by far one of the hardest thing parents have to do. The feeling of helplessness can be worrying and frustrating.

Knowing that your child has to live with sickness for an indefinite period or, for the rest of their life, is extremely stressful. It takes some time to accept! Until that acceptance happens, it is common for parents to wonder why your child has to go through something like this.. I have read, researched and even wondered if I did anything wrong! All natural responses! 

What we need to keep in mind while we are sorting ourselves out, is to see that we don’t make our little one uncomfortable with our display of emotions and actions.. what I mean is – do not suddenly become over protective and smother the child from being him or her self. Instead we should teach them to cope with the illness, educate them along the way. Take a minute to take a deep breath when you know that you need it. 
We need to talk to our partners and discuss with each other on what goes, so that both are on the same page at all times. Lastly.. everyone has advice to give.. hear them out.. take what you need from it… do what ‘you’ have to do for your child… he is your son, she is your daughter.. listen to your gut.. let your motherly instinct guide you.

Stay strong, stay healthy, our children need us to be!

 Believe that this too shall pass! 

When your baby is not your baby anymore!

I found my self smiling on way out and then it hits me by baby girl is growing up! And suddenly, I found my self wanting to hold her, wishing I could carry her around and just not letting her go…I realised that she is more responsible.. more everything!
I think watching a child grow into an independent little being makes us want to turn back time or stop it for a while. I suppose, it is difficult to let go of them needing you.

We all love to watch our children grow! Do you remember your baby’s first smile, that first peeping tooth… remember when she first left the edge of the sofa to take a step towards you?? Aren’t they are such beautiful memories?! As parents, we are rooting for them to grow; applauding and celebrating their achievements along the way. 
My oldest, she is all of 6, of late I have been taken aback by her responses and actions. For instance, the other afternoon, I was just about done with drying my hands after doing the dishes when she walked in with a plate that she had just eaten from and starts to wash it. I told her that I will do it and she politely says “mama, don’t worry, I will wash it up, you have just dried your hands.” 

I was touched! I found my self smiling on way out and then it hits me by baby girl is growing up! And suddenly, I found my self wanting to hold her, wishing I could carry her around and just not letting her go…I realised that she is more responsible.. more everything! 

I think watching a child grow into an independent little being makes us want to turn back time or stop it for a while. I suppose, it is difficult to let go of them needing you. What really bothers me is that I know that our little ones are constantly growing and its not just a phase… their changes, physical, mental and emotional are always going to get us!

I love my girl! I know its not always going to be chocolates and rainbows. But one thing that I surely let her know every day is that she is perfect in every way even if she has driven me up the wall, I wouldn’t have it any other way, cause I know that its another memory for me to sink into on a rainy day.

So! All you mothers and fathers reading this, go and hug your children, hold them close, hold those tiny hands and bite their toes! Tickle their bellies and listen to them laugh, memorise their faces and make that a memory to last!

Where is the love?!

So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!

This topic came to mind after a few discussions with friends. So is the seven year itch really true? Does the honey moon period become period after a few years of marriage? Well if your answer was yes.. it is time to make some changes people!!!
Stressed with work, tired after a whole day of picking up after your children, exhausted that all you want to do is… fall asleep in front of the tele?! Like and comment on Facebook?? Or pass out after sipping on your favourite alcohol?? Or are you just too lazy that your mind over rides the body’s needs and goes to sleep?!!
So here is what you have to do, set a dinner time and maintain it. Spend more time with your family and less time in front of the television or tablet or phone…. get of social  networking and focus on some personal networking. Talk about your day with your spouse and use this time to vent all that you are stressed about. And make it happen. When you disconnect from the world you will focus on what is in front of you.

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We may have too much weighing us down, we have to learn to put down your load and just focus on your spouse. Appreciate what he or she does everyday,  wake up everyday and choose to love your spouse; remember why you fell in love… hold on to the dream of growing old together.  Sometimes it can put life into a whole different perspective and  it will definitely change how you feel.
Don’t get lost in the bond that binds your love, instead loose your self in the love that binds you.