To my little Angel

This is for my baby girl…

Hello my little angel,

Your the apple of my eye.

You have no idea how you saved me,

The day you came alive.

You are my little miracle,

A reminder everyday,

That no matter how impossible life may seem

There will always be a way.

There are times when

I felt like I was fading,

Buts it’s your voice that guided me through,

There have been days that I couldn’t see the sun

And your eyes gave me strength.

So today my little angel,

Mama says thank you my baby…

Thank you for saving me.

You will always be a blessing

To the people in your life.

You will be an Angel

And you will always touch lives.

So stay true to your self my angel

And be all that you can be.

Mama loves you my sweet baby,

No matter where I may be.

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Come alive

Sinking.

Your head can’t focus,

Your legs are buckling.

You call out for someone to hold you,

And there in those arms

It doesn’t matter if you go,

There is no fear or worry.

You feel its just easy to let every thing go.

A little worried voice calls out to you,

And for a second you focus

On those terrified little eyes.

You feel your strenght return,

The cold sweat begins to disappear,

And you realise that even though you feel like you have fallen apart

You want to survive

That little voice needs you to be alive.

Love and Happiness

Let love bind you both but let happiness fuel each of you.

I was always of the opinion that love and happiness go hand in hand. Years ago, that was all I believed in. However…i have grown older… and wiser and have come to understand that this pair of love and happiness do go hand in hand and they don’t. They exist on their own and off course together they become a beautiful symphony.

I was reminded very recently from an Instagram post about this very thought and have decided to blog about it. So.. let’s talk about love…the love between two people. We have all fallen in love. Remember all those butterflies and you can’t think straight kind of love… or the he gives me peace love…the one you will spend the rest of your life with kind of love….. So many different variations of love. We have all seeked it. We all want it. We all want love.

So now let’s talk of happiness… where does that come from? Does it come from the love that you seek or/and receive? Yes it does and it doesn’t. Stay with me now…. if we seek happiness from others or in others, we are going to end up feeling empty one day. Why? Because, true happiness comes from with in, it comes from being all that you can be, it comes from being honest with yourself and with those around you, it comes from living with no regrets…it comes from a place deep within.

If you are in love, don’t lose your self in it.. as your love evolves remember that you also evolve. If you are seeking love… stop and focus on you. Love will come because when you are happy from within you are all the more attractive, your personality will stand out. Do what you love, do what you care about.. live life for u and together u will be strong, independent people bound by love and fueled with happiness from within.

To love another we must first love our selves. To be happy together,we must first be happy our selves.

Stripped to my Soul

I have not posted in ages. But here goes…

When you have been just going with the flow…. being complacent… it numbs so many parts of you and it also changes you unknowingly. But then, there is a restlessness that starts to build up inside.. you can’t put your finger on what is going on! I battled this restlessness, it has been a fight that I did not understand, I burried my self into my daily home routine. I had no clue from where or what this restlessness was until it broke me. I found myself not sleeping at night… the crazy headaches…. the sadness…. the tears….and I did not know why.

I have a family that I do love very much. So what was it that was making me so miserable? And then the day came, I did not want to wake up, to get out of bed, I wanted to stay under the covers and cry. Nobody knew the struggle I was facing.. what could I tell them? I have been a person carrying a smile around and had it all together.. a strong person.

Finally, I said it. I am broken. Broken inside. I am lost.

I went into myself…. my brain was being stubborn. It resfused to bow down to my heart’s sorrow. I could not find any answers there. Then it came upon me like a storm… It swept over me these feelings, desires, needs, goals. And that’s when I began to listen to my soul. A forgotten part… just ‘Me’. And I realised that I needed to please my soul….i have to nourish it… I have to love it a whole lot more for who she is…embrace all that she wants to be… All her dreams, her desires, everything.

So here I am, fully aware of myself. I am a whole lot of woman. I am exploding with energy from with in. I am taking baby steps. Only I can fuel the road ahead. Changes. It’s chaotic. But complacency, now that is the killer. Let’s live our lives, being true to our selves. Let’s not just go with the flow, do things like it’s always been done… remember that times change and situations change, you cannot expect to function the same way.

So live. Listen to your soul. Your heart is just afraid of being broken, don’t let it stop you. Your mind is influenced by your soul. So those butterflies that you feel in your belly when you want to make a change…. it’s a good thing. You have to believe in yourself, enough to know that it’s ok to fall, it’s ok to be disappointed, because it’s not going to be easy…. Change is going to be hard. So when you are ready to take that step….go ahead….. Make your move…..lean on somebody….if you can…. Be broken… feel low… it’s ok. You will rise… above everything that you have… everything… you will see all that you want to be…And you can start from there.

Between You and I

Its been so long

I cant remember you

I look in to the mirror

I look into your eyes

I can barely remember you.

So much has changed

I am not the women that you remember

I am a wife and a mother

And now after so long I find myself searching for you

Only to find you standing behind me all along.

I shut you out and you understood.

You know that I will always be someone’s someone

And that I have always loved you

I have overlooked you

But now I see

Without you there is no me and

Somewhere between You and I is Me.

Respecting the emotions of our children

Have you ever had a day where you just wanted to laze in bed when you know that you needed to bet to office…. sometimes, we give in snooze the alarm for a bit more than usual… we land up going in late…  do you get a little laid back on a Friday??? We all have those days!! Today… my little one had one of those days… I felt an ache as I saw that look in her eyes as she was being yelled at to hurry up.
We all love to have an open relationship with our children, we would like them to come to us with anything and everything.. we want them to see us as friends as they grow. I believe, respecting their feelings is something that will help nurture that special relationship. We grown ups use the parent card… or the ‘because I said so’ when we want our little ones to fit into our schedule.

We should encourage our children to share there feelings with us; more importantly we should teach ourselves to listen and pick up on their feelings and respect them. Remember that these little people may not understand their emotions and feelings, so let them emote and let us help them understand what they are experiencing by listening to them and take the opportunity to explain that you too have feelings and its a give and take. You  might be surprised at how understanding your child will be!

There is a saying that goes ‘Respect those who deserve it not those who demand it’ our children sure do deserve it! It’s tricky parenting… but it is worth giving it a short. You will discover a side to them that you may not have known…they may too. I think its a step towards raising confident children.

To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift.