Respecting the emotions of our children

Have you ever had a day where you just wanted to laze in bed when you know that you needed to bet to office…. sometimes, we give in snooze the alarm for a bit more than usual… we land up going in late…  do you get a little laid back on a Friday??? We all have those days!! Today… my little one had one of those days… I felt an ache as I saw that look in her eyes as she was being yelled at to hurry up.
We all love to have an open relationship with our children, we would like them to come to us with anything and everything.. we want them to see us as friends as they grow. I believe, respecting their feelings is something that will help nurture that special relationship. We grown ups use the parent card… or the ‘because I said so’ when we want our little ones to fit into our schedule.

We should encourage our children to share there feelings with us; more importantly we should teach ourselves to listen and pick up on their feelings and respect them. Remember that these little people may not understand their emotions and feelings, so let them emote and let us help them understand what they are experiencing by listening to them and take the opportunity to explain that you too have feelings and its a give and take. You  might be surprised at how understanding your child will be!

There is a saying that goes ‘Respect those who deserve it not those who demand it’ our children sure do deserve it! It’s tricky parenting… but it is worth giving it a short. You will discover a side to them that you may not have known…they may too. I think its a step towards raising confident children.

Advertisements

To Respond or react!

I land up yelling at the child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama!
Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty!

Recently I read post on Facebook,  that was talking about how we as parents sometimes react  instead of responding! I found that so true especially when I get upset. I think a lot of us fall pray to reacting to someone in our lives. 

As a parent of two children, I sometimes get a little more aggravated in situations, where they push my buttons when I least expect them too! For instance, when one of them spills something on the floor that has just been swept and mopped.. on a day when I am just so tired…. it gets to me… and I land up yelling at the  child, lecturing them about be careless… questioning them about their ability to hold a cup without dropping what’s in it! …..But…. wait a second… I am talking to a child that accidently spilt something! The correct thing to do was to respond… tell them that accidents happen.. and that it can happen to anybody… even to mama! 

Oh!! When I think back to all the times I have reacted instead of responding!!!…. I feel guilty! 

But life is such that we cannot undo what we have done but we can change our behaviour going forward. We are parents but we are first human beings.. we make mistakes. I now, have begun to respond more rather than reacting… Although sometimes.. I forget and then I get a nagging feeling that gets me when I do.. so I make sure that I apologise for my behaviour.  

The important thing is that we check our behaviour and control our need to react, for this we must first recognise our fault… so take a moment to see where our reactions get the better of us.. it could be triggered by something or someone else. Take a moment to figure that out and correct your behaviour.. we may not know how much damage our reaction may be causing to the other person be it to your partner, friend, spouse, parent, child, employee… you get my drift.