From One Mother to Another: The hushed unborn.

When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with poly cystic ovaries (PCO) and was told that if I ever wanted a child that I would have to undergo a course of medication and then… ‘May be’ I would conceive! I felt wrecked …. I love children… and a few years later I married and to my surprise fell pregnant a few months later! I heard that heartbeat and saw that pea sized life on a computer screen…My husband and I were so happy, I remember…I also remember the immense pain of losing that little life a few months from there…

For the unfortunate few who have to deal with the loss of an unborn child, it is painful for both. Yes, I said both… not a year has passed where my husband and I don’t bring up that loss. As a woman it can be extremely painful… I remember being shattered… and I remember being cared for so tenderly by my husband… he put his pain aside to comfort me… and I think for a moment I forgot that he lost someone too… it was not until later that we spoke about how he felt…

Our Indian culture hushes this type of loss we… don’t talk about it… but why? I remember feeling so much better when an aunt told me that she went through a miscarriage and comforted me… I remember being a shoulder to lean on for a friend who went through the same thing… One thing is for sure no woman can ever understand that loss unless they have been through it themselves…

Only time can heal all wounds, you may be fine after a few days or it may take you much longer… however, the want to be a mother kicks in more than ever after what you have gone through… don’t fight it… embrace it.. pray and believe… I prayed even harder and I believed that miracles can happen… and mine did, but that’s a story for another blog. So stay strong and believe…together!


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